BEAUTY (Franklin)

PRINCESS ONE
I am beauty – I am flawless

PRINCESS TWO
You’re OK, I guess

PRINCESS ONE
All the girls want to be like me when they grow up.

PRINCESS TWO
Oh is that so?
More likely, they’d rather be a little more like me
Even the constellations are beneath my station,
And when I own this nation…

PRINCESS ONE
Oh please! You’d need a shovel to remove that makeup
You’ll never marry a prince with an A cup… Wake up!
Aphrodite’s got nothing on me…

PRINCESSES:
All will worship me and my beauty.

PRINCE:
Dad says I’ve got to choose between them.
He’s not long for this world
But their vanity is awful, their perfume burns my nostrils
And the sight of them just makes me want to… hurl…
I know! I’ll put some tattered rags on – lose the crown and the finery
We’ll see which one will take me for the man I am inside
And I will make her my queen.

Here they are in the garden having tea on a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Leaves me thinking maybe this won’t be so bad after all…

PRINCESS TWO:
SERVANT!

PRINCESS ONE:
Maybe you can help us settle this little debate

PRINCESS TWO:
The king is gonna die soon and the prince will have to choose a mate
PRINCESS ONE:
So who do you think that the prince is gonna pick?

PRINCESSES:
HMM?

SERVANT:
Oh I really don’t think I should

PRINCESSES:
Go on!

SERVANT:
No, no really, you’re both lovely…

PRINCESSES:
GO ON!!

SERVANT:
Ladies, honestly between you two, he’ll probably jump off a bridge.

PRINCESSES:
*gasps*

PRINCESS ONE:
Get out!

PRINCESS TWO:
You’re fired!

PRINCESSES:
GET OUT!!!

SERVANT:
…well alright then…

PRINCE:
Oh dear…. This should be interesting….

Hello ladies!

PRINCESSES:
Ew.

PRINCE:
You look splendid!

PRINCESSES:
Duh!

PRINCE:
I don’t have the biggest bank roll, but I am a kind man

PRINCESSES:
Oh is that so?

PRINCE:
Maybe we can talk and get to know each other better?

PRINCESS TWO:
Not a chance in Hades, find a peasant lady
Somebody old and scaly.

PRINCESS ONE:
Oh please!
Casanova wouldn’t be that lucky.
I wouldn’t date you to save a puppy. Yucky.
You’d be better off in a brothel.

PRINCESSES:
You’re not worthy of this beauty.

*gasps*

PRINCE:
OK.. well, this is kind of awkward. It was me all along

PRINCESS ONE:
But you don’t have to hide, sir!

PRINCESS TWO:
We would have been much nicer!

PRINCE:
Ladies, that was actually the… the point…

There’s so much more to living this life than what you see in the mirror

PRINCESSES:
Oh

PRINCESS TWO:
Well, if I made some changes

PRINCESS ONE:
And weren’t so selfish, then

PRINCESSES:
Could you love me my dear?

PRINCE:
I don’t know, maybe…

PRINCESS ONE:
Some more flowers ought to do…

PRINCESS TWO:
A little more perfume

PRICESS ONE:
Yes.. much better.

PRINCESS TWO:
You don’t think it’s over the top?

PRINCESS ONE:
Oh no! it’s great… really.

PRINCE:
My GOD you are HOPELESS!

PRINCESS ONE:
Even on you!

PRINCESS TWO:
Oh, those flowers are nice – they cover up your ugly ears.

PRINCESS ONE:
What?!

PRINCE:
Ladies! Ladies!!
You don’t know a thing about beauty.

PRINCESSES:
Hmm.